The wife was obsessed with the iPhone. Her’s was stolen a while back and despite my criticism of the device, she still wanted one. We had a discussion about it before the purchase, and I obviously inquired as to why she wanted it.  Long story short, most of the reasons were related to “IT’S SHINY!” or “It’s Apple. They have to be good!” and my favorite “It’s the best device on the market” not to mention “There’s apps for everything!” even though all she really does is call and text.

She’s an American citizen. I’m Canadian. She didn’t have her ID with her, so she couldn’t sign a contract without a $500 deposit and I couldn’t put it in my name also without a $500 deposit. So she decided to purchase the device unsubsidized at the Apple store and talk to ATT directly to see what they had to say.
We head to the ATT store and they basically say the same thing. Even though you bought an unsubsidized device, you still have to pay $500 deposit and choose one of the 2 iPhone plans which included unlimited talk/text and 200MB or 2GB data. They were $105 and (I think) $125 respectively.

She wasn’t too happy about paying $105 a month, $500 now, $800 30 minutes ago.I was questioning the salesperson on why the iPhone plans were $30 more than prepaid plans that had identical things. For $75 a month, I can get unlimited talk/text and 200MB and NOT pay $500. The salesperson had no good response.
I stated that I could just trim the prepaid SIM down and shove it into the iPhone and we could have service right now. The salesperson said it wasn’t possible. She believed the salesperson. So we left with a brand new iPhone, an $800 bill and no activation.

I keep trying to telling her that a prepaid SIM will work fine. So she goes to the Apple store to see what they say, since they’re Geniuses (her words, not mine). She asks the Idiots I mean Geniuses there if a prepaid SIM is possible. The Genius said that the iPhone uses a new revolutionary microSIM and the full size SIM was incompatible. I tell him that the contacts on the microSIM are identical to a full size SIM and the only difference is that the plastic surroudning the chip itself is smaller. He disagreed. The wife believed him.

A few days go by and I ask her what she wants to do with an unactivated device and where she’s gonna come up with $500. She told me to shut up. I laugh and say that I’m gonna go pick up a prepaid SIM and activate it that. She tells me that it won’t work because the “Geniuses” at the Apple Store said it wouldn’t work. I told them the Geniuses are usually idiots. She didn’t believe me. So I went to the ATT store without telling her and picked up a prepaid full size SIM. After a bit of trimming (which is painful btw, buy a SIM cutter) I had me a microSIM. She had been admiring the SHINY factor of the iPhone while I was gone, so it was laying out. She mentioned that she was out of cigarettes, so I told her to go get some. I then put my plan into action. I yoinked the phone, shoved in the SIM and set it up.
When she gets back, I pretend I have to make a phone call. I dial her new number and the iPhone rings. Since her old iPhone was stolen recently, she absentmindedly answered it.
The plesantries of standard phone conversations go by and she still hasn’t realized that she’s talking on her iPhone. I ask her if she’s seen her iPhone lately. She panics and realizes that it’s no longer on the counter. Then the moment of epiphany hits. She runs over and hugs me. I stand here with a sense of self satisfaction since I knew both ATT and Apple were both idiots.

So since I’m the resident geek, I was tasked with setting it up.
Since cases and bumpers were $30 per locally (she refused to shop outside the Apple store) she didn’t get one. Even she thought that $30 for a piece of plastic was stupid. During setup, I was “holding it wrong” and experienced the drop in signal. I started laughing. She asked what I was laughing at. I stated that I was holding it wrong. She had no idea what I was talking about, so I explained. She thought it was retarded and wasn’t impressed that an $800 device had a flaw like that. So she bought a bumper. 5 of them. And a few snap on cases. I was like WTF! You spent $300 on cases?
For some reason she didn’t see the issue behind $300 worth of plastic crap. Damn Apple tax.

A few weeks later, she was tired of the default ringtones. She wanted some of her own MP3s as ringtones. I figured “it’s a smrtphone. I should be able to drop some MP3s onto storage and they should work fine.” so I told her that I’d load up some MP3s and they should be ready in 10 minutes.
Apparently “there’s an for everything” is true since you need an app to do menial tasks that should be native to a modern device. She’s not impressed that she can’t do MP3 ringtones by herself.

A few more weeks go by and we’re out and about doing our thing and tethering my notebook to my G1. It breaks. I tell her that I can just set up tethering on hers since I jailbroke her device. Apparently even with Cydia, it costs $19.99 in order to tether. I laugh. She asks why that’s funny. I tell her that it’s free for Android. She isn’t impressed.

So one day, I hear out of nowhere “Damn iPhone!”, so I ask her what’s wrong. Apparently the phone kept switching between bluetooth and speakerphone. I point out the screen is on. She says “Yeah that happens sometimes.” So I have a look online. Apparently the proximity sensor for the screen is defective on a large number of devices. Apparently her’s is affected too. She’s really not impressed.

Text messaging. I don’t understand it. I send maybe 100 messages year. The wife however… LOVES it.
One day when I was checking my text history on my Galaxy Tab, she notices that my messages don’t look anything like hers as there’s very little wasted space on my messaging app. She inquires to as why mine aren’t in “speech bubbles” like they are on the iPhone. I tell her that speech bubbles are stupid and they sacrifice a significant amount of screen real estate to “look cool”.
She has a look at her texts and realizes the same thing. There’s probably an app to change that, but she doesn’t use the market at all. She’s not impressed, especially since she tends to write novels for text messages.

Bernz and I were discussing our mutual ownership of Galaxy Tabs. He introduced me to “Tango” which is a cross platform video chat app. I tell the wife about this, and she says “pfft. Facetime does that.” I tell her that it’s not possible on 3G and restricted to iDevices. She’s not impressed.

Just recently, a friend of hers sent her a message with an emoticon. She inquires as to why that her friend’s iPhone has emoticons and her’s doesn’t. So I hit the internet to see why they’re disabled. Apparently you need an app for that. I laugh and tell her that mine has them built in. She’s not impressed.

Just today, it was announced that the iPhone tracks location history. I yell out in surprise. The wife asks what’s up. I tell her that the iPhone records location history and is easily accessible without a court order. She throws her iPhone and basically tells me to get rid of it. I laugh. She’s REALLY not impressed.

She now hates the device.
6 months ago, she would tell everyone how awesome the iPhone was.
Today, she tells everyone how terrible it is.

The ONLY thing she IS impressed about is the fact that she currently has the cheapest iPhone plan in Washington at $67.50USD for unlimited talk/text/200MB.

And that Ladies and Germs is how your average iPhone fangirl went from “OH SHINY!” to “WTF IS THAT SHIT?!?!??!”


I’ve been getting my television on the internet for years now. It just makes sense. It’s HD, it’s commercial free and it’s well… free.
Hell I would pay for this kind of service assuming I could get it. Netflix is close (well not in Canada) but it’s still no cigar.

I’ve been also using Usenet for years. $8 a month so I don’t have to maintain a ratio/deal with seedboxes/public trackers/etc? Where do I sign?

Team those 2 with an RSS feed and you have a pretty decent PVR.
Until you install Sickbeard. No more fiddling with show titles, quality, propers etc. Sickbeard automates it all. You enter in your SABNZBD credentials (which already have your usenet credentials) and a show name. It then automagically downloads new episodes. It can even download recent old episodes. It also looks through your previously downloaded episodes and makes sure you have them all.

I’ve been using it for all of 1 day now and it’s the best thing I’ve used since SAB.

My show list is a bit skimpy for now since it does take a good bit of time to add and index shows, plus I’m at a remote location.
When I get a little more permanent again, it’s going to get my full show list and collection.

Bottom Line: Go signup for usenet, install SABNZBD+, Sickbeard and start adding shows.
Might as well kiss that remote good bye.


DRM free too.

See! I buy games. If these were DRM infested, I wouldn’t go near them with a 20ft pole. BECAUSE they are DRM free I am supporting the developer.

I’m a proponent of Piracy. Insert the “Why!?!? You’re stealing from hard working developers!” from the MAFIAA. Simple: There’s no satisfaction guarantee. If I buy a toaster and it sucks because the bread I use doesn’t work with it, I can return it and get a full refund.
Or if it has an undocumented feature of telling me that I can no longer use my deep fryer, I can tell it to go to hell.
No such luck with the Music/Movie/Game/Application community. Once I buy it, it’s a final sale. In fact… it’s so NOT mine that in some instances I can have stuff I’ve legitimately paid for revoked from me without a refund or recourse.

I lost my Steam account a while back because I got screwed by a prepaid credit card. I used it to buy some games on Steam and they somehow forced the transaction even though there wasn’t enough to cover it. Due to some bad math (and underestimation on fees associated with cross border purchases) the card ended up being a few bucks overdrawn. So the prepaid card company initiated a chargeback. Steam doesn’t like chargebacks. So they revoked my account with literally THOUSANDS of dollars worth of games. It wasn’t enough that it was an honest mistake and I could repay it, I had to find a way to add money onto a prepaid credit card that was already closed. To make a long story short, I managed to pull it out of my ass and I have a reinstated account.

Piracy puts me in control. If I feel the content is worthy of continued use, I will pay for it. Otherwise off to /dev/null it goes.

Oh and LOL at the suckers that actually paid for not so quality content and also bit in the ass with something as hilarious like UBISoft’s new DRM platform that demands a constant internet connection.
At least something like Steam is non-intrusive DRM that has an offline mode.

Hear that UBI? I’m actively NOT purchasing your content based on your choice of DRM. I was seriously considering buying Settlers 7 while it was on sale on Steam. That and a few other games. Notice that they’re not on my Steam Games list?
That goes for any other developer that thinks DRM is a good idea.
I did accidentally buy Flock! that did include Securom, but that was due to my own personal negligence. Whoops.

Anyway…. this post has become about DRM and how evil it is.
Go support some devs that do the right thing.
Oh and pay more than $0.01 you cheap jerks.


My dedicated server host provides free SSL certs and I have a few built up at my domain registrar too, so I’ve been securing everything I can with an SSL cert. Why? Why not?

Anyway…. most things that support SSL outside of web servers don’t have an entry for certificate chains. Documentation on how to work with these chains is basically non existent. Well here’s some documentation.

When you get cheap certs, you most likely get 2 files: One with a .crt and one with a .ca-bundle.
This is useless unless the product you’re using it on supports certificate chains. So what do you do? You stack the certs yourself.

Open a new file. Take the contents of the .crt file and paste it in.
Now take the contents of the .ca-bundle file and paste that directly below.

Your file should now contain a bunch of

with a bunch of random crap in between. It’s not actually random crap, but it’s easier than describing what it actually is.

MAKE SURE!!! that your .crt contents is on top of the .ca-bundle contents.
I had it backwards and was fighting with it until I tried swapping it.

Gigabit to home
three hundred fifty a month
I have a boner

(LOL Haiku)

Oh and it’s symmetrical.
And uncapped.
In Tennessee.



I’ve been hanging around with someone southern recently and it rekindled my love for sweet tea. It’s SO simple to make, but SO [expletive deleted]ing delicious.

I was in a US 4Pack (aka Costco) and discovered that they have GIANT gallon sized tea bags from Lipton. EIGHT bucks for 48 bags. Team that with about 50lbs of sugar (for $20) and you have enough sweet tea to flood the south.

For those REALLY dense, here’s a recipe:

-1 Gallon sized tea bag
-2.5 cups white sugar (to taste)
-1/2Gallon Water
-3x 1/2 gallon pitchers (4 if you want to be able to rotate)

1. Boil water.
2. Add Sugar
3. Kill heat
4. Add teabag
5. Wait 2 hours
6. Squeeze Tea bag (NO JOKES!)
7. Split tea between 3 1/2 gallon pitchers
8. Fill each with cold water
9. Chill
10. omnomnomnom

Seriously… 2 of us have literally consumed 14lbs of sugar in the last month.
Hilariously… this is about the same as 1x 1L Coke per person per day for a month. Not to mention that I’m drinking literally a gallon and a half of fluid rather than 1/4 gal. So in terms of sugar, it’s 6X more awesome.

In terms of taste, it’s over 9000x more awesome.
Oh and tea apparently has antioxidants. Because fuck you oxidation.


So apparently after updating PHP on my webserver running Apache2, Apache decides to start downloading php files instead of parsing them.

A BUNCH of Googling later turns up nothing relevant. I’ve tried the whole uninstall/reinstall bit and checked every config file I could see that was mentioned within the last 2 years without any luck.

Long story short, I found some obscure post somewhere random that linked the Apache wiki:


I can’t believe it was that easy…..
Now… the issue is that this blog is my own personal database for shit I (publicly) want to note later If something goes wrong later, I’ll be looking here. But if something is wrong here… I’m boned.




So I picked up a few SPA941 from Dell a while back for about $80 per.
I finally unpack it today now that I have my asterisk server online in Seattle and do some testing.

The back of the unit has the power/ethernet sticking straight out instead of pointing down, meaning I need a wall mount. I figure something as stupid as a wall mount would be in the box. Nope. It comes with a desk stand, but no wall mount.
I peruse the manual to figure out WTF is going on and apparently the wall mount is sold separately.
Ok, some genius in accounting thought it’d be a good idea to charge for a stupid piece of plastic.

I go on fleabay to have a look since they’re usually the place for hard to find crap and I find one.

I then proceed to shit my pants.


Why is a piece of molded plastic damn near 40% of the original cost?


50 Nuggets for $10USD

I guess it’s no worse than $8 for KFC Buffet…

© 2012 The Mind of DH Suffusion theme by Sayontan Sinha